The Case against Marco Polo Rubio

Marco Polo Rubio. What a guy right? The only guy who’s smile is infectious, who’s late 90’s  beach haircut instantly qualifies him to be the Abercrombie & Fitch poster child, or at least the Sears Photo Gallery Dad model. But what about the guy’s credentials? Isn’t he a great option for president? Well it depends. Allow me a few minutes to elaborate on why I’d rather drink lukewarm unsweetened tea and eat ice cold mashed potatoes than vote for this guy.

Rubio has no story of his own. If you listen to him at any point, you can repeat his life story in about 10 seconds: “Once upon a time my mom & dad left cuba, my dad was a bartender, my mom was a maid, then I went to college and became a senator. Now I’ve got a smoking wife I never see and 2 kids. The end.” He touts that story, sans the last sentence, over and over to try and relate that he knows what its like to face immigration struggles. In reality, what this relates is that for the past 20 years you’ve been riding mommy and daddy’s coattails. You’ve got no story, you’ve got no struggle of your own. You went from college to  politics with not a lot of wiggle room in between. Tell me of how you struggled to pay back student loans….no not now, when you have a 6 figure salary and can’t manage money, I mean back when you were first starting out. Tell me how you struggled to get a job at all. Tell me how you did odd jobs to make ends meet. Tell me something truthful that doesn’t make you seem like a spoiled brat that ironically, given the background, was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. Tell me something of substance behind that showman’s smile and boyish charm that may work on Abuelitas but certainly won’t on the hardworking American male.

Folks if you’re still waiting on his response, those crickets chirping will just have to do.

As if it were’t bad enough that the guy doesn’t have his own story; all right, lets see what he’s done with his own story now that he has one. Rubio has the worst voting record in the Senate among republicans. That’s not the worst votes he cast, that’s that he wasn’t there for 80% of them. Rare it is for an incumbent politician running for another office to not run for his own office if he fails as Ted Cruz will probably will run for Senator again if he fails for president. But Rubio can’t he knows he would fail. How can you interview again for the same job you failed at doing the first time? Its not even like you did a bad job at it, you just didn’t even show up! An old high school teacher of mine told me that 80% of life is showing up. If that’s true, and Rubio missed showing up 80% of the time, he’d have been better off not having the job at all. The people of Florida elected him to represent their interests in a representative democracy. In true Florida fashion, maybe he was on the beach or something because he sure as hell wasn’t at work.

When he did finally show up for 20 minutes, he crafted lukewarm legislation called the Gang of 8 Bill. He worked across the aisle with democrats to craft it, but to appease so many people, by the time they got done, it had even stronger bipartisan opposition. When asked about this, he said that it was the best they could do and that it takes compromise. Then he turned right around and chided Donald Trump for saying it could have been negotiated better, and that it takes compromise.What Marco Polo Rubio forgot was that compromise doesn’t have to be a one way street going straight through our home values. So his key piece of legislation that he did in the 20 min. he was at work was a disaster. Lets see how he’s done on the trail.

Now, Rubio, he’s gotten some great endorsements. He certainly is the establishment darling of the GOP Party. But on the debates, he has said some dumb things. Sorry Marco Polo, but you trying to lecture Donald Trump about jobs and how the economy works is like the guy at Jiffy Lube trying to tell the Ford Engineers how to make faster engines in Mustangs. You got onto him saying he’s the only person on the stage who hired illegals….no man, he’s the only one on the stage who’s hired anyone. Period. How many jobs have you created Marco? “Well I know that its not the job of govt, to create jobs, its the job of govt to create an environment where job can be created.” Ok bitch, well you’re a so called conservative, and conservatives supposedly understand that regulations are mostly job killers, so please explain how many laws you voted against, or how many laws you got repealed? No really, we’re all dying to hear…

The comparison folks keep saying is that he sounds Kennedy-esque, or that he has a Kennedy-like way about him presumably comparing him to the late JFK. This SOUNDS great in theory, but once again, facts are stubborn things and they don’t help Marco Polo Rubio. JFK was prudent in the bay of pigs crisis. He was careful knowing that one wrong move and both superpowers involved were in a world of shit. Rubio was a paper pussy tiger saber-rattling about no-fly-zones over Iraq. Only Rand Paul, God love him, was shrewd enough to question him on it and force the American people to think; Russia fly’s over Iraq at the invitation of Iraq, so now you’re inserting yourself where you’re not wanted. A long time bitch of the Iraqi people. If you put a no-fly-zone over Iraq and don’t enforce it, you might as well tape a “kick me” sign to your ass and walk around, because the ramifications are worse than Obama’s fake red line in syria (giving birth to ISIS, oh look its a girl!) If you do enforce it, you had better fucking understand that that involves shooting down Russian planes. This will mean war. Easy for Rubio to fucking say being a baby-back-bitch coward who’s never so much as gotten in a school yard fight to mess up his darling hair, let alone pick up a weapon and man a post. And therein lies the contrast in the Kennedy analogy; by the time JFK ran for office, he had already managed a successful family estate and investments as well as served during wartime as an officer in the United States Navy. Marco Polo Rubio has never even held a job serving ice cream, let alone been responsible for mission success or men’s lives.

This lead’s me to my conclusion about Marco Polo Rubio; somehow, even though the guy is  44, he’s a wet behind the ears kid, who’s never held a job and makes immature comments about foreign policy that would get good men killed. He has no experience in the economy to understand how to grow it, and overall is a wash as far as his ability to get results. He can’t show up for work, unless its to charm and smile his way to another job that he foreseeably won’t show up for. And his understanding of immigration is built on a story unlike many other immigrants (not a lot of illegals’ kids get to go to college and run for congress) and he’s still, even now, riding the coattails of his parents story. Maybe one day, Marco Rubio can grow up and figure out who he wants to be and what he wants to stand for. Until then, I hear American Eagle & Univision are both hiring if you’re getting laid off soon.


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