Blake Shelton is a Chode

As if divorcing country cutie Miranda Lambert wasn’t already bad enough…

As if watching the music video to his song “Austin” and “Ol Red” to see his pathetic attempt at long nasty greasy unkept hair under a cowboy hat, before cutting said hair and slicking it back like a used car salesman wasn’t bad enough…


As if the miserable sorry ass lyrics to his most recent songs like “Boys Round Here” and the lamentable and pitiful “Sure Be Cool if You Did” wasn’t already bad enough…

Ladies and gentlemen, I present one more reason to ban this dumbass from all musical devices in your life. Enter this article by Fox News’ music gossip section masquerading as important shit where Shelton is quoted in regards to the death of musician Prince as saying, “It feels like there’s been some sort of horrible terrorist attack, or something like that, that’s how it feels losing that guy,” Shelton said to reporters at a Karaoke for Charity event according to Us Weekly. “It just doesn’t seem right, especially being so young.” (the guy was 57 and took drugs all his life, I’d say he was aged some.) Dumbass further said that even though Prince was not a country singer, his influence reached across all genres.”Even though I’m a country artist, he had an impact on me as far as personality and trying to be as cool as him and failing miserably.” (Aint that the damn truth.) He added, “But, you know, it’s just a blow to earth losing that guy. That’s the only way I know to put it.”

Never mind this came from the same guy that called country fans “old farts and jackasses” if they didn’t buy his lame version of their genre, and never mind that Prince’s cause of death, still yet to be determined, will no doubt have been accelerated from a life of heavy drug use, (hard to feel sorry for someone “so young” over AARP age and nearing Social Security when they fucked themselves up for decades), no, never mind that…..What pissed me off enough to blog about it was….drum roll……..

EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU MEAN IT WAS LIKE A TERRORIST ATTACK?!?!?!?! Blake Shelton, you inbred motherfucker with pubic hair on your chin, where did you come to the conclusion that some musician, ANY MUSICIAN, dying of natural or otherwise causes was the same as a terror attack? Really Blake? Seriously? Blake, why don’t you give us a “terrorist attack” moment and kill yourself. No really, drink bleach. Now.

I usually don’t wish bad things upon people, but a good next movie of SAW involving all the members of his family except him as the stands above them on a plexiglass floor unable to help them might open his eyes to his stupidity, which apparently knows no bounds. To Miranda, honey, you’re better off. And I sincerely wish someone involved with the USO (folks who do services and entertainment for service members overseas) would see this and make it policy not to include Shelton in any acts going forward. I wouldn’t want precious Fabio to see what real fucking terror looks like and shit himself.

On to part 2 of this:

I have noticed that our culture in America seems to hold in higher regard than others people who play music for a living. No doubt, music is a strong part of our identity as individuals and you can find out a lot about a person based on their favorite playlist. The act of music itself is expression and thus, one could argue, is in a sense the most pure form of exercising one’s first amendment. But the worship these people are exalted to is dangerously appalling. And not kept in perspective. They too, are only people. Their contributions may be great, but aren’t others? Whitney Houston died from a self-induced drug overdose in a cheap hotel bathtub and flags across the country went to half staff for a month. Navy Seal vet Chris Kyle was murdered helping a troubled vet and no one batted an eye. Justice Antonin Scalia died after having served as a Jurist for one of our nation’s 3 integral branches of government for 33 years and Obama couldn’t be bothered to attend the funeral. But when asked about Prince, Obama said that, “nobody’s spirit was stronger, bolder, or more creative.”

Seriously? Ever heard of Kate Steinle? Kate’s spirit was probably just as strong, bold, and creative, before being murdered by a 5-time deported illegal immigrant felon who was released to a sanctuary city. So, we’ll never get to know. Yet, everyone and their mother has rejected Kate’s Law and instead focuses on laws like “Who Can Pee Where?” and which flag to take down.

Benjamin Franklin was famously quoted after walking out of a building in Philadelphia after signing the constitution; some lady asked, “What have you given us Mr. Franklin?” He replied, “My dear, a republic, if you can keep it.”

Bro. George Washington likewise said, “Education is the heart of a Free Society.” That is to say that you can’t keep a society free if its members aren’t educated or they will be led back into monarchy or dictatorship like sheep to the slaughter in due time. We wonder how we got into the mess we’re in today with folks in debt, jobs scarce, morality dropping like a rock, and our country seemingly unrecognizable. But when more folks can tell you Snooki’s hair color and who got voted off the island, or who is dancing with who this week, than can name one of the 9 supreme court justices, (the ones that aint died yet) what the catalyst was for getting involved in WW2, or when the Constitution was signed, is it really any wonder? If “We the People” are too damn stupid, lazy, or apathetic to give a shit, then we deserve all that we have and all that is coming.

Back to the dumbass I started with though, one final question. Merle Haggard died 3 weeks ago. Before Shelton was born, Haggard had already caught the tail-end of the depression, lived through 3 wars, did a stint in prison, and had already begun a career that would arguably pave the way for Shelton’s candy-ass and others like him. (I’m talking to you BroCountry) So how fucked up is it that a google search shows no activity from him on the death of Haggard, but he compares Prince’s death to a Terrorist Attack and describes some unrelatable influence between pop music and so-called pop country?

He did nail one thing though; on anything near the respect that Prince garnered as an artist or as a person, let alone the cool factor, Blake, you have failed miserably.


One thought on “Blake Shelton is a Chode

  1. Our country is definitely going to hell in a hand basket. What’s right is wrong and what’s wrong is right. And if you stand up for what is right you are politically incorrect. It will be a sad day when judgement comes down from above. And by the way, I wonder which bathroom Mr. Shelton uses?


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